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CLICK HERE to download my new EP, RUN for free! If you decide to tip, all proceeds through June 30 will be donated to She Dances‘safe home in Honduras.

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Spaceland 3.8.11

A very last minute show has been put on the books at The Satellite, which was once named Spaceland (shall we have a moment of silence to mourn the loss of this legendary club’s former self?)

It’s free.
It’s at 9pm.
It’s 21+.
It’s at 1717 Silverlake Blvd, LA 90027.

Following me at 10pm are The Bangups–a personal favorite and fellow Michigan band.

Spread the word, come support if you can!

Also, I saw Butch Walker play a secret show last night. OMG.

Pride for the Motherland

OH the choir. I love it.

I used to really believe that people could change, but I’m beginning to believe that people don’t really change, and I don’t think it’s defeating.

In fact, the lack of changing that people do is actually the thing to really pay attention to, because somewhere in there, is their compass.

That’s why I can live in Michigan, Virginia, and California, and still wake up every day with the same set of thoughts and go to bed with the same set of worries. Sure, my day to day tasks shift according to where I am, and things feel different for a while, but ultimately I have a North on my compass and I eventually begin to walk in that direction, no matter what it is that I’m doing, no matter where I am, no matter who I am with or without.

I am still learning what that North is pointing toward, but I am beginning to figure it out. Recently, Andy Prickett asked me what it is that I started doing in life, particularly as a child, without anyone telling me to do it. I’ve given that question weeks of thought and realized it boils down to various forms of documentation: namely, songwriting. Lyrics first, melodies second. I loved to record myself on my little Fisher Price tape recorder (nearly identical to the one below). Musical documentation made the most sense to me. If my memory serves me right, I learned to read music right around the time I was learning to recognize the letters of the alphabet. It made writing melodies seem easy because it was built on a system that I could not only see, but also feel.

Second to that was writing in general; no one ever told me to keep a journal, I just knew I needed to write things down. I still have lingering interest in photography and film, but I’ve since realized that while I love the documentation part of it, I don’t possess the patience or people skills necessary for actually making any type of vocation out of it.

I like to remember, and music is the way that I remember things best. When I write, it’s often based on a facial expression that I saw, or a tone that I detected in someone’s voice. My memory is probably very inaccurate, because most of it consists of not what was said or done, but more-so how I felt. I’ve said many times in the past that I can’t remember if I actually said something, or if it’s just how I felt at the time. I’m sure I stole that sentiment from someone, but not ironically at all, I don’t know.

This whole idea is coming up a lot recently, I’m having a lot of unrest in my day-to-day activities, and I keep having this revolving conversation with dozens of people. I find myself often saying that working for money alone isn’t enough motivation to work anymore. I’m also realizing more and more that when I say yes to one thing, I am by default saying no to a lot of other things. I can probably list on one hand the things I want to say yes to in life. And now, one thing at a time, I am learning to identify which risks to take so I can say yes to the right things. Taking risks has always been quite natural for me, I seem to be generally attracted to risk, as a matter of fact. In the past I’ve taken unnecessary risks because I don’t think I knew how to identify the right ones. But, the more clarity I have regarding what my North is, the easier it becomes to determine which risks are necessary, and which risks are distractions, whether emotional, locational, relational, or just to pass the time.

I haven’t personally reached a conclusion on this, so I end this entry with no conclusion. But, here’s that Fisher Price wonder:

A writer loves to have written.

I’m three song ideas in tonight and I still can’t come up with anything I want to keep. Songwriting, while it remains the thing I think about most during the day, is not actually something that I consider a true joy. For those of you who write songs and it’s the greatest joy and you feel alive and rainbows and kittens abound during your songwriting process: ugh.

I have been incredibly encouraged by people like Anne Lamott and Elizabeth Gilbert–two writers who have compared themselves to work mules when it comes to actually writing anything.

My question to fellow writers: do you actually enjoy the process, or is it really more like that backward warped enjoyment thing that mothers claim to have when they say you forget about how horrifyingly nightmarish the birthing process was once they see their child?

I’m also encouraged by Brian Eno’s wisdom. He says:

What would be really interesting for people to see is how beautiful things grow out of shit, because no one ever believes that. Everyone thinks that Beethoven had his string quartets completely in his head, that they somehow appeared there, formed in his head, and all he had to do was write them down and they would be manifest to the world. But what would really be a lesson that everybody should learn is that things come from nothing. Things evolve out of nothing. If you walk around with the idea that there are some people that are so gifted; they have these wonderful things in their head, but you’re not one of them, you’re just sort of a normal person, you could never do anything like that, then you live a different kind of life. You could have another kind of life where you could say, “Well, I know that things come from nothing and start from unpromising beginnings, and I’m an unpromising beginning, and I could start something.”

Back to the drawing board.

Next Post

A few weeks back, I unintentionally started recording what appears to be an EP. Daley had been helping me with another music project, and one thing lead to another and suddenly we were recording one of my songs. And then we recorded another, and so on and so forth.

This really doesn’t surprise me in hindsight, mostly because a lot of the better decisions I’ve made in life happen when I’m not looking. I know that doesn’t make sense, and that’s precisely the point. It was this particular unwritten law of physics that moved me to Los Angeles in the first place. It sort of happened when I wasn’t looking. Rabbit trail: there’s a fine line between this and going with the flow, which avoids risk. This other thing is more-so a relinquishing of (perceived) control, or for those of you familiar with AA/Alanon, it’s allowing things to happen organically, instead of managing, calculating, and manipulating.

I’m excited about this.

I imagine these tunes will be released within the month or so. I’m very excited about these, and I admit to being stoked to share them with you all! Once you hear them, you’ll want to make a record with him, too.

There are some photos below to prove that this is actually happening.

While you wait: this.

After days of mulling it over, I hit reply on an old friend’s email that landed in my inbox a couple weeks back. Summarizing several years into a few sentences isn’t my specialty–actually, summarizing anything into a few sentences isn’t my specialty. But, I stumbled upon some unexpected insight when, without thinking, I wrote this:

I guess add it together and divide by two and I’m somewhere in the middle of mundane and chaotic.

After some clarification, I began to write, “Otherwise I just pretend I know what I’m doing.” But I ended up erasing that line because I’m pretty sure that’s how I used to roll. These days, I’m entirely positive that everyone around me has a pretty accurate perception of that in which I’m capable and competent, and that in which I am neither capable, nor competent.

I quit pretending about four years ago, and upon writing this email, I was entirely relieved to find that to be true.

Make no mistake: my eyes are still bigger than my stomach. But thankfully I’m surrounded by people who believe in me and who believe in being ridiculous and having disproportionate eyes and stomachs, so I can enjoy the freedom of smiling about it because at least it’s not a secret.

Every day realizations

My problem with fashion is that I either know exactly what I want, or I have no idea what I want; and both are remarkably challenging to find.

It took nearly four hours of mulling over this minor realization to recognize that this is quite apparently applicable to more than just fashion.

I’m thankful for airplanes.
I’m leaving on one this week to visit family.
I don’t see them nearly often enough. In fact, I already made a new year’s resolution for 2011, which is simply to see my family more often.

Also, I’m very thankful for the rain two nights ago, the wind, and the fall weather here. It’s incredibly therapeutic. My hopes are high to catch the end of fall this weekend in Cincinnati.

I’m thankful for music. I played some cello for a while earlier tonight, and really enjoyed the hilarity of it (I one day dream of playing something that sounds like a melody). It’s pure therapy to sit and play and instrument, no matter that I’m a novice.

Music is the greatest gift.