My mom is coming to visit in 10 days! I didn’t think I’d see anyone in my family until December, so this is a marvelous development. She is traveling allllll the way across the whole country to get to LA. See?
I live at the pink arrow, and she lives at the blue arrow. 
You may notice a pair of scissors cutting Atlanta out of the map. I know many wonderful people there, so if you could all just go ahead and relocate that would be great. No city should be that difficult to navigate, and no city should ever get that hot without being near a large body of water.
And also, Michigan is king but went broke years before the rest of the country, so don’t go there.
Oh, and I have a crush on San Francisco and I’m totally in love with New York.
Also, I did this at 3am, when things are funnier.
