mountains + sunset

i like living on the 3rd floor. i get the better view.

tonight’s show done an injustice via my blackberry.

 

ho ho ho

My most recently compiled playlist: It’s Christmas in LA
Click on it. Screen shot shrinkydinks it.

And yes, Dave Matthews. Christmas Song is a great tune, I don’t care who you are.

 

For me, the skyline has changed.

For me, the skyline has changed.

When I drive back into the city after a long day out, I strain to see the skyline a few miles ahead. Looking to the horizon, my eyes trace the steady lights from the now familiar buildings that tower in the darkness–always facing the same direction they were facing when I left them last. Always in the same order. I’m able to spot the skyline off in the distance, but when I see it I don’t feel the same way I used to. The skyline isn’t exhilarating anymore.

Now, it’s comforting.

 

pretttty

a beautiful LA sunset from yesterday.

hooray blackberry.

 

traffic + poetry = could have been worse

Last week I sat in traffic on the 5 for over 2 hours. When I hit the 2 hour mark I decided to stop keeping track of time, and instead memorize poetry. This is from one of my new favorite books called “To Bless the Space Between Us”, a contemporary take on traditional celtic prayers. I memorized this one:

For Longing

Blessed be the longing that brought you here
and quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen
to the voice of desire
that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously
into your own unease
to discover the new direction your longing wants to take.

May your forms of belonging–in love, creativity, and friendship,
be equal to the grandeur and call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destiny of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted
by ghost structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

 

welcome to fall?

i think someone is confused here…

 

visitor!!!

My mom is coming to visit in 10 days! I didn’t think I’d see anyone in my family until December, so this is a marvelous development. She is traveling allllll the way across the whole country to get to LA. See?

I live at the pink arrow, and she lives at the blue arrow.

You may notice a pair of scissors cutting Atlanta out of the map. I know many wonderful people there, so if you could all just go ahead and relocate that would be great. No city should be that difficult to navigate, and no city should ever get that hot without being near a large body of water.

And also, Michigan is king but went broke years before the rest of the country, so don’t go there.

Oh, and I have a crush on San Francisco and I’m totally in love with New York.

Also, I did this at 3am, when things are funnier.

 

normalcy

I’m not very good with schedules. But recently I find myself in a familiar place of feeling chaotic and due for another attempt at creating some normal rhythms for my days. I took the last few days off and didn’t really work…well, didn’t do anything that I got paid for, at least. It was good to take some time off, and give some thought to what kind of rhythms would make sense in my life.

I became acutely aware of this need last week, on a trip to San Francisco. Proof:
(ps: Daley took this photo from Twin Peaks, which was one of the coolest views of a city I’ve ever seen. Go there.)

San Francisco was lovely as always, but the first stop was in Santa Cruz at Daniel’s cottage where he and several musicians are currently gathered, working on an album. The cottage is in a magical redwood forest, and only a few minutes away from the ocean. The atmosphere of Santa Cruz is so entirely opposite of the atmosphere in LA that I was caught quite off guard at the peacefulness and relaxed environment there. Suddenly I felt like I could write. And I wanted to read, and memorize poetry and all the other lofty ideals I carry around with me on a daily basis.

Also, it didn’t hurt that the weather was wonderful fall weather that justified wearing the jacket and scarf I had packed in a moment of optimism.

I know I’d lose my mind in a small town like that if I stayed for too long, but for the time being it was wonderful, and I could have really used a week of that sort of environment.

The rest of the nights were spent at Ryan and Holly Sharp’s home in Oakland. They just moved to Portland this week, but check out the view from their back yard. As you may have guessed, I was a bit mesmerized by the view.

All of this is to get at the same point of trying to figure out how to foster an atmosphere that allows for me to be spontaneous and imaginative without perpetuating the innate chaos of my natural habits. That was kind of wordy. But I think you know what I mean.

I’m not necessarily looking for balance, at least not in the traditional sense–I don’t need to feel comfortable or managed or safe–I just am hoping for some kind of rhythm…I just don’t know what kind yet. So far my best idea is to have one day each week for music/writing only…and possibly incorporating some kind of “mental health day” (though I have no idea what that would mean yet) every few weeks.

I don’t think this has anything to do with busyness; more so just wanting to get the most out of my time. There’s a small chance this has more to do with believing that I am what I produce; but what I do know for sure is that it has everything to do with not being interested in being mediocre in the things that I get to do. I get to do some cool things here and there, and I’m interested doing things really well.

I’m not sure if this was beneficial in any way for someone to read. It’s too long for a blog and poorly written. I think perhaps it was more about me being vocal about it so as to somehow hold myself accountable to at least addressing that this needs to be….addressed.

Wish me luck.

xo.

 

LA

….looking rather dapper today in those big billowy clouds.

 

Postcard from Michigan, or Cry for Help?

Corey, who is from LA and has been held in Michigan longer than he would have liked, sent this postcard to me and my housemate, Carl:

Corey writes, “Please, surf, ride bikes, play tennis, eat Scoops, give hugs to all our friends, go to rock shows, yell at dumb drivers and all the other LA things for me.”

Corey is in Grand Rapids working on some amazing projects with the guys.