I have given some thought about what to write today, as World AIDS Day is observed. I thought about book recommendations, maybe some facts and stats on AIDS, some website linkage and that type of thing, but none of it really seemed meaningful.
I thought about telling you the stories of some of my friends who are HIV+ but that didn’t feel right either.
I guess what I want to say is that AIDS awareness is good, monetary donations are good, needle exchange programs and condom programs and abstinence programs are good, but none of them have eradicated this global pandemic. After learning from some of the best on this topic, and after meeting many individuals who are HIV+, it all seems to boil down to the same thing that everything else in this life boils down to: love.
When people are loved, they carry a sense of dignity, value, and respect; and suddenly appears a reason to make good choices, to avoid risky behavior, and to care about your life and health. It happens every day: I wear my seat belt, because I think my safety matters. I stop at red lights not only for my own safety, but also for the safety of everyone else that I’m sharing the road with. It works in the small things, and works in the big things. When people believe their fellow human beings have value, they are less likely to be violent toward others. When people believe they and others have value, they’ll practice safe sex.
Not only is it a nice thought and good theory, but it’s a real story I’ve heard on more than one occasion from individuals who are living with AIDS. A shocking number of my friends with HIV describe a time in their lives when they didn’t think they mattered and would have rather died, some of whom were actually hoping to contract the HIV virus or other potentially deadly disease (and sadly succeeded), so as to bring their lives to an end. They all explain the same thing: they felt loved by no one. The turn around in every single one of their lives happened not through antiretroviral treatment, not through education, judgment, nor condemnation, but when someone stepped into their lives to simply show them love.
Until someone knows they’re loved and have value, they have no reason to use a condom.
Until someone knows they’re loved and have value, they have no reason to abstain.
Without love, nothing matters.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Kayamandi, South Africa
Feb 2007
